gratitude

It's thanksgiving weekend. It's a time for turkey and cheesy radio shows about the things we're thankful for. Today I figured, "Hey, I'm cheesy, how about I express my gratitude for stuff?"

So here goes.

Today I took my cat to the vet. He's been showing signs of an infection and I want him to be OK. But I don't have a car so I usually hold off on these things. I did so last time and he literally came within hours of death. I don't always treat Luna really well, mostly cause I'm a yuppy who likes to focus on himself (i.e., sit at the computer and write blog entries while he meows that he's bored). But I really love him a lot, and so perhaps his traumatic experience at the vet today was my way of saying "thanks for being so sweet."

My roomie Heather brought Luna with her when she moved in a few years ago, and it is her that I attribute Luna's peaceful demeanor. I'm thankful that she came into my life, and that we're better friends now than we were during the year she lived with me.

I've had several room mates throughout my years here on Gower Street, and they've all been great. The guy I first moved here with was Dave, and perhaps the close proximity during both our first time living away from our parents kinda drove us apart near the end. But I know that we both still care deeply about each other, and that we'll always be friends. And I'm very thankful for that.

Two other room mates in particular stand out to me. Tristan and Alain. These are both guys with big minds and big hearts, and I can always count on them to help me out when I'm going through tough times. They're definitely two of my best friends and I wouldn't trade anything for them. They travel a lot and bring to me a world view that keeps me sane as I live my life in the same place I was born during a time of global change.

Two other guys that I've made important connections with are Chris and Joey. Chris is on the other side of the world, but we often find ourselves going through similar emotional situations at the same time. Chris's artful penmanship puts things in a unique perspective that I value deeply. Joey keeps everything real for me and shows me what unabiding love looks like. The world loves Joey, and to have a special place with him is pretty brilliant.

And of course, there's Luke, who was my friend in high school and will be my friend at the grave. Perhaps that is all that matters in this friendship, but even better is that we share common interests and an excitement and optimism about the present and the future. I learned my attention to detail from him, and with his help have developed my ability to articulate my thoughts in a meaningful way.

I'm thankful for the women in my life. Because I am a male of the species, I am sorely lacking in a vast component of perspective that women seem to have on life. Because my hormones often go haywire when I'm around women, it's difficult for me to connect with many of them on the level that I would like. So for this I am extremely thankful for the few that I've had the profound honour of sharing an intimate relationship with.

There are three that come to mind, and they were the most long-standing. First is Holly, whose name implies her cuteness. She is sweet and serious, and dedicated to what she believes in. She'll always be my high school sweetheart, and we've remained friends even though I had a hard time getting over her (which I made sure she endured with me).

I spent one fifth of my life with Nora. She was there while my parents were living away, at my sister's wedding, and with me when I was kicked out of the band. Together we have endured some of the most intense struggles that we'll ever experience. She taught me how to care for others I don't know, and communicated her experience of the world in such a way that I learned how to connect with my emotional intelligence. I attribute much of who I am and what I'm proud of to the times we went through. We'll always have an important connection.

Most recently, of course, was Jenn. She introduced me to Alain, was there when I got my big job, and supported me while I bought the house. It is from her that I learned to true power and freedom of honesty in a relationship and from her that I have learned how to direct my life and constantly push myself to go further. We will probably be living miles away from each other for most of our lives, but I have in Jenn a best friend that will last forever.

Then there's my family. It is becoming clearer and clearer that our personalities and life experiences are dictated profoundly by our genes as well as our environment, especially in the early years of our lives. My mom and dad are beautiful, intelligent people who knew the importance of raising their children well.

My mom brought to my life a deep commitment to raising happy children who were well educated and balanced in life. She was a primary school teacher who has touched the lives of hundreds of children yet still devoted the lion's share of her energy to caring for me and Andrea. She has had many difficult struggles in her life, and most people will never know this because she continues to smile and laugh and care. I know that as I continue to grow and find my way in life, she will only become more of an inspiration and guiding light for me.

And what a choice Mom made in marrying Dad! I always kind of knew this, but as I'm finally far enough along my path to start looking back on my life with perspective, I can see that I have in my own father a man with the kindest heart I have ever known and probably ever will know. Quiet, considerate, and perpetually (it seems) pleasant, my dad is very much the rock of our family. I suspect he is the only one who knows all of our secrets. My regret is that I don't know as much about him that I would like, but he has expressed he felt the same way about his dad, so we're working on ending the cycle together.

Finally, there's my sweet, loving, caring, beautiful older sister, Andrea. I'm a dreamer, and I think a lot of this is thanks to the knowledge that I can go into the clouds and always know that if I fall, my sister will be there to catch me. No matter what. So much of who I am was inspired by her dreams that she shared with me when we were young. My passion for music, my interest in space, my desire to find truth - they all have roots in spending time with Andrea and learning what it is that can be accomplished in this life. I am inspired by her choice in a husband that matches her so well and seems to bring balance to her chaotic, brilliant mind.

It doesn't end there, of course. I am extremely fortunate to come from an extended family full of loving, intelligent, wonderful people. I was born and raised on an exceptional island where the culture is rich and minds are sharp. I am coming of age during a time of great historical importance, and I can watch it all happening on the Internet. I am thankful for these things.

It looks like we might be having some tough times for the next while. There is a great deal of tumult in the world, and it's beginning to touch almost everyone. It is during these difficult times that it is imperative that we keep perspective on what we have and who we are. Look to what it is that you're grateful for and remember that they are your roots. They are what give purpose to life, and they are innumerable.